"What is an Alpha male?"

The question was asked on Quora, and continued with "Why is being an alpha male important for success with women and life in general?" 

I've been meaning to write about this for quite a while now. A private discussion with a reader of this blog has prompted me to give part of an answer here. Unfortunately, since he is a primary source of what I know about Alphas, I can't say everything I've learned: the main story that illustrates it would be a violation of his privacy. 

So let us proceed with that caveat: I can't tell the story that explains it the best. 

The term comes, of course, from observations of canines, which are pack animals (not the horse kind but the kind that live in packs) in the wild. There's a "leader of the pack" and every trainer of dogs knows that to train one, you must become that animal's Alpha. Maleness is not required: I once knew a woman who could get a dozen dogs to obey her. And my female cat was an Alpha, but I'll tell that story later. 

We don't normally refer to H. sapiens as a "pack animal" but we are a very, very social species. We organize into groups, and every group has a leader. In spite of protestations from Betas and women with low SMV*, Alphas are real and they do exist in human society. I've known some. 

Donald Trump is an Alpha. I don't care whether you like him or not; that isn't the topic of this post. He was an athlete when he was young, and he overflows with self-confidence (which is the reason why so many Betas and low-SMV women hate him). I think the best story I have to illustrate that was an exchange I heard on the radio during the 2016 campaign: a reporter asked about his plan for fixing healthcare and why he thought his plan would work, while Hillary Clinton's plan would not. His answer made me sit up and notice:

Because I know what my capabilities are, and I think I know what her capabilities are, and she isn't capable of achieving anything that big, and I am. [paraphrased; I'm going from memory]

Yeah, that was the whole answer.   Not one word of an actual plan.  Just pure confidence in his abilities. That's the primary characteristic of an Alpha. 

I came out my back door one day to see my cat banked about 45º in a U-turn around the front of my Jeep. She was going that fast. Then I saw the fox in front of her. Yes, she actually ran that fox off of the property and it didn't slow down until it had cleared the fence. Now, that is confidence: that thing could have turned around at any point and had her for dinner. But she had it scared for its life, and running. 

Another time, she had gone on a Jeep ride with us and saw a mama buffalo charging me while I was outside trying to take a picture of it. She wanted out of that Jeep and was going to protect me! A bison!!  She had confidence. 

Alphas not only have confidence; they project an aura of confidence to everyone around them.  Hillary Clinton once accused Donald Trump of "intimidating" her at one of their debates. I watched that debate: all he did was stand behind her quietly while it was her turn to talk.  He didn't do anything to intimidate her, all of that was in her head.  Just like that fox.

So I think I've covered the first question ("What is an Alpha?) pretty well.  Now for the part about women.  

He was a dairyman in my home town who had bought a fleet of semi trucks and was hauling hay.  The truck shop was right there on the property.  He had little kids.  I was in his house doing computer work.  It was nearing dinner time and he was home.  His wife asked him something about taking care of one of the kids during part of the day.

Now, I was raised a Beta.  I would have slobbered all over her like Leon Russell's story of a dispute with his woman in his live performance of "Jumpin' Jack Flash" (it's 16 minutes long, if you can sit through it that long -- it's sickening).  My automatic response would have been to acquiesce to her.  Not this man.  He began with "That child..." and I don't remember the rest, but he let her know in no uncertain terms that a little kid in a shop full of heavy trucks and equipment is a safety hazard.

He stood up to his wife!  I learned something that day.  

Women really, really despise any sign of weakness in a man.  And they will constantly test you.  Yes, they SAY they want you to be tender, vulnerable, show your feelings and all that rot -- and they probably even believe that themselves.  But as the old saying goes, never listen to what a woman says; only to what she does.

Women lose respect for a man who shows weakness.  They want a leader.  An Alpha.  If you're training a dog, you have to be the dog's Alpha, all the time.  If you love a woman, you have to also be her Alpha.

Not easy, because most of us were raised to live according to The Romantic Myth.  We were programmed to be Betas.

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*Sexual Market Value.  No time to explain it here.