“Women are fundamentally incapable of loving a man in the way that a man expects to be loved by a woman” 

— Rollo Tomassi's Iron Rule #6

Tomassi is kinder and gentler than I am.  My rule says flatly that women are incapable of love, and that, therefore, no man should expect any woman to love him.

I would like to see that disproved, but while I’m waiting for that, here is what I have observed in the Real World:

Women are mostly concerned with what they are getting. As long as the gifts and the attention are flowing, she’s happy. But always keeping one eye open for a higher branch to swing up to, if you know what I mean. This is what women call “love.”  It is NOT what men call "love."

If misfortune befalls that man — he loses his health, his fortune, his ability to make a living — she will dump him as soon as she finds “something better.” I’ve seen it over and over, including in my own life.

Men don’t do that. As long as his woman loves him (and I’ll get to HIS definition of “love” in a bit), he’s inclined to stay with her, keep her fed, clothed and housed, etc. It takes a lot of effort and resources to win a woman’s heart, and no man wants to see that time & energy wasted. He’ll keep what he’s got.

This does not apply to cads and players, by the way.

Men have dreams, goals, ambitions. We build things. We aspire to build Great Things. Thanks to the colossal lie that we’ve all been told, known generally as The Romantic Myth, a great number of us believe that “behind every successful man is a good woman.” In youth, we seek to find that woman.

In our fantasies, we dream of someone who will build us up, encourage us, inspire us, tell us "Yes, you can" when the whole world is telling us "no, you can't, you're scum, you suck."  We need our home to be a sanctuary -- free from insults, accusations, belittlement, pettiness, putdowns:  all the slings and arrows we take daily out in the world as we make our living.  We need warmth, comfort, healing from the "slings and arrows," salve for our wounds, rest and above all encouragement.

I have a hundred stories to tell about little scenes I have witnessed as examples.  Perhaps I'll add them to this post someday.

When we find that woman (and rare is the man who does), we don’t want to lose her.  As Solomon said, her price is far above rubies.  We value her more than she will ever realize. She means everything to us.

But what is she thinking about? “How much am I getting? Could I get more with someone else?”

Very few women are happy with the man they have. Blessed are the ones who are, and especially blessed are their husbands.

To be revised, edited, and added onto later...